The Shallot

Student volunteers: You’ve probably seen them more times than you can count, and with the ASUO elections last week, they swarmed around campus more than usual. At the college level, I expect student organizations to have a relatively high degree … Continue reading →

By: McKenzie Ingram Eugene: a city where the color green means environment, nature, and sustainability rather than money, capitalism and wealth. A place where community benefit means more than monetary gain. Where tall trees and flowing rivers hold more value … Continue reading →

Editor’s note: The following is a part of our “Shallot” series. All content is unbelievably fake. An upset around campus has broken out recently over the last installment of the Harry Potter films. Many students who are fans of the … Continue reading →

The following is a part of our Shallot series. All content is unbelievably fake. When a Duck fan is asked to describe the essence of the football experience, they’ll usually say three things: Autzen, tailgating, and cheerleaders. They’ve become a … Continue reading →

The following is a part of our Shallot series. All content is unbelievably fake. Rex Lexington stands facing the rain-soaked streets, eyes squinting and watchful as he survey’s the scene. It’s a Wednesday afternoon, Lexington’s busiest time. He’s dressed in … Continue reading →

Editors note: The following is satire. All content is amazingly fake. For most native Oregonians, the recent wave of downpours is nothing out of the ordinary. The lake-sized puddles everywhere you step, the icy wind chill and hard-hitting raindrops that hit … Continue reading →

Editor’s note: This satirical piece is part of our “Shallot” series. All content is unbelievably fake. In a news conference just held today, Chairman of the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) Graham Spanier announced a number of new qualification requirements have … Continue reading →

Editor’s note: This is a satirical article published as part of the Emerald’s “Shallot” series. The University boasts a considerable list of notable alumni and other associates. Author Chuck Palahniuk graduated from the University; so did Portland Mayor Sam Adams. … Continue reading →

Editor’s note: This is a satirical article published as part of the Emerald’s “Shallot” series. A dramatic decrease in the amount of parties around the University campus in the wake of the clash between University students and police is leaving … Continue reading →

Greg Wallace doesn’t remember how he got here. He doesn’t remember putting on the hospital gown,  or getting strapped into a chair that looks and feels like it came straight out of a medieval torture chamber either. The one thing … Continue reading →