Dealing with roomies

With both hands against the bed, Zach Rioux struggled to push the wall of fabric and springs up a flight of stairs in his dormitory.

His roommate, in their dorm room and studying at his desk, didn’t say a word.

There aren’t many freshman students with Rioux’s living situation on campus:  Rioux is from Washington.  His roommate is an international student from China.

“There isn’t hostility between us.  I try to be understanding,” Rioux said.

Aside from the language barrier, Rioux and his roommate lead different ways of life.  Rioux is outgoing, while his roommate is more reserved.  Rioux likes to be surrounded by friends, but his roommate doesn’t like other people being in their room.  While these differences have taken a toll on their relationship, Rioux realizes how far his roommate is from home, and that moving to another country can be overwhelming.  At the same time, he sees that he isn’t getting the college roommate experience that he imagined.

“I want to have that roommate connection, but I don’t know how to get it,” Rioux said, standing by the smoking station outside his dorm building.  He spends much of his time reading and socializing with friends at the bench.

After one late night of partying, Rioux moved his mattress upstairs to his friend’s dorm room.

“I think it was sort of just a sporadic, fun thing,” his friend, Maddie Froyd, said.  “…None of us realized [it] would take a toll on our studying time and our roommate relationships.”

Rioux partied too hard that following weekend—one morning he fell and cut his upper lip, and another time he woke up underneath a bridge.  Froyd and Sork didn’t see him that weekend until Sunday, when he showed up to get his things from their room.

“I think we all kind of realized that [living together] was fun, but not realistic,” said Froyd.

Rioux is now living with his original roommate, but he says that their relationship has not changed.

“I think we won’t ever have a full conversation,” Rioux said.

For many freshmen, moving into the dorms is their first time sharing a room — let alone with a stranger.  Living with someone who has different beliefs and a different lifestyle is not always easy.  Communication and respect take effort, but they are important in maintaining a good relationship.  In Rioux’s case, making the effort to communicate with his roommate is crucial.  When you get along well with your roommate, living together becomes a great experience instead of a bad one.

Stories about roommate conflicts have made headlines across the country recently.  Dharun Ravi, a freshman at Rutgers University, illegally broadcasted a video of his roommate making out with another male in their dorm room last September.

Just a few days ago, Timothy Hammons, a student at Lane College, died after being shot by his roommate at an off-campus residence.

These are extreme cases, but many students have trouble solving even the smallest disputes, like who should take out the trash or vacuum the room.

If you find yourself in a conflict with your roommate, first discuss the matter and come up with a solution together.  If that fails, ask your Resident Assistant to act as a mediator for the discussion.

With the approach of winter term, it’s a good idea to talk to your roommate about how the school year is going so far. Make sure that you guys are seeing eye-to-eye, and that both of you are capable of feeling at home.

Because if things are bad now — they will be a whole lot worse later.